5-25-04 3:50 AM

Well, I'm still awake, but I have actually been productive, because my internet connection is still down. I managed to get some programming done, which is always good, since I will get paid for it.

But more importantly, I added a new section, Photos, to my site. Enjoy.

5-25-04 1:03 AM

Well, I've decided (once again) that I'm going to die early.

Here is a list of the drugs that I am on right at this moment:

So yeah ... death. Soon.

My right nostril is so clogged that if I press it closed, it stays closed, because no air comes in from the sinus cavity to release the vacuum. It's fun.

Also, my internet is down, so I can't even post this. Oh well.

5-19-04 4:08 PM

All better.

5-19-04 1:20 AM

When someone is angry at you for no reason, it is pretty easy to deal with. As long as you can keep yourself convinced that you are correct, the person's emotions towards you don't really affect you that much. If the person is unimportant to you, then you can just ignore them outright; if the person is important, then you can at least hope that when the truth comes out, you can convince them to change their feelings. In any case, you can parlay your uneasiness about the situation into anger, and direct it right back at them.

The difficulty is dealing with a person who is angry at you for a good reason: a person who is angry at you because you fucked up, and you know it. Especially if the person is someone important to you; especially if it is a person that you love. What are you to do then? How can you complain when you are the one who fucked up? What outlet do you have for your emotions if you know that they are right? You cannot be angry at anyone but yourself. And since the emotion is turned inwards, it turns fetid, like standing water. It gnaws at you, and there is nothing you can do but wait, for your trespass to be forgiven, or for you to be forgotten.

You know, it's been a long time since I wanted to go to sleep solely to be rid of my consciousness; it's been a long time since I wasn't sure I wanted to wake.

Ok ... the night is making me melodramatic; it's not as bad as I'm making it seem. I mean this more as a general observation than as applicable to a current situation. But I hope my words ring true: it's been a while since I've actually said anything of value here.

I'm going to go to sleep.

5-15-04 3:51 AM

Well ... I'm back in EB. Today, I did the most EB thing imaginable: DDR. Of course, I played with Jed (Sharon was there too, but since she's now in London, she doesn't count). Anyways, this all proves that on the scale of losers, alone, I am the one, but together, Jed and I are like, the "twhoa" (please oh please don't ask).

Also, I went to see Troy with Ilona and Gene. The movie kicks ass; in my opinion it is way better than the book. If holding this opinion makes me a dunce, so be it. I was thinking that my pontifications on the movie should be a post of their own, but that may or may not come later.

Additionally (since I already started a sentence with "also") - and I'd like to rub this in as much as possible - I beat Gene in a game of chess today! It doesn't matter that he's won all the other games we've ever played, because I finally won one.

Um ... yeah. Nighty night.

5-9-04 11:55 PM

Well, there really is nothing like eardrum-laceratingly loud trance music to get rid of a headache. That and a healthy dose of Excedrin.

So the other day,  I kind of realized that there are a grand total of four people at NYU with whom I hang out, including Jedwin. Four. If you include other colleges in NYC, then that total jumps to an earth-shattering five.

There are probably kids here who have sex with more people than that on a daily basis, without any repeats at that.

I think there really might be something wrong with me. It's not even that I hate people; it's just that the people here are so ... boring. I just can't be interested in people who are not smart, because other than intellect, people really have nothing to offer. They drink and they smoke and they party, but so what? I don't look down on these activities, I just don't care; they are so bland and pointless that they might as well not be activities at all. Everyone can do them. Who cares? An intellect is something interesting: something to explored. With these people, I see nothing to explore; I'm sure that I'm wrong, but I feel that I know them all completely at first sight. And so I just don't care.

Maybe next year I'll be introduced to some interesting people in my classes and by Sasha. Well, for now, I'll be really happy to return to my friends in EB. Damn, there were way to many awesome people in EB. I wonder if college made you guys bland and shitty like everyone here. I hope not, or I'm really going to become anti-social to the extreme. O well, I guess that would help me with my studies.

I don't even know what I'm talking about  anymore ... I think my Excedrin finally kicked in.

5-5-04 10:33 PM

I had two finals today: Calc III and CS 102 H. Of course, I raped both of them. Now all that's left is Linear Algebra. I expect to rape it.

Wow ... that was pretty pointless, eh?

5-4-04 7:28 PM

Well, the fucking church across the street finally got me mad to the point were I wanted to see if there was anything I could do to get them to shut the hell up.

Of course, there isn't. I found this lovely morsel in the New York City noise code:

24-217 Exemptions.
The provisions of this code shall not apply to the operation or use of any organ, bell, chimes or other similar instrument by any church, synagogue, mosque or school.

If that isn't a governmental endorsement of religion, I don't know what it. O well, I'm moving soon anyway.

5-3-04 2:22 AM

Well, Jon S is officially the gay.

That being said, I'm glad that his site is back, if only because of that picture of Shankar.

So Jed, put me back in your links, asshole.

Also, Matt D updated, finally.

That's all ... this is basically a maintenance update to change months.

Good night.