3-31-03 9:17 PM

If you haven't ever heard it, download (from me), buy (from me), borrow (from me), or steal (same as download, but not from me) Silverchair - Neon Ballroom. Oh my god. I forgot how absolutely amazing some of the songs on this album are. I mean, "Emotion Sickness" and "Miss you Love" alone are just disgustingly good. Also, while you're at it, download everything ever made by Pink Floyd. I'd list the amazing songs that they made, but I don't have forty two thousand hours to spare. Maybe later I'll make a complete post about music. Whatever.

Hmm .. what else? Oh yeah ... apparently everyone and their mother is going to NYU. It's going be cool. I suggested that all the people from EB who are going to NYU form a gang of straight people, to defend against to overbearing gayness of the institution. I mean, holly shit. Today Kangho informed me that their sports teams are called the Violets. Are you joking? At least their ultimate team has a cool name: Purple Haze. I'll try to make it to that. It would be hot to play for a team called Purple Haze. Yeah ... and I'm defiantly not playing for anyone called the Violets.... Damn Fags.

On that subject .... People accuse me of being homophobic because I say that if I get stuck with a gay roommate, I'm gonna try to switch. Well, wouldn't you be uncomfortable sleeping in the same room with someone who is sexually attracted to you, but that you find sexually repulsive. And I don't feel like walking in on my roommate fucking some guy. Anyway ... I'm going to try to get a roommate that I know, to eliminate this problem. Yo Jed, you aren't gay are you ... cuz if you are, I'm going to kick your gay ass.

Whatever. I think that I'm going to like NYC. I mean, what? ... between the crowds, lines, deadly smoke, terrorist attacks, and traffic, I'll be able to find something that I like. After all, it's supposed to be the capitol of the world for god's sake. Now, what I'll definitely be able to find is a girl. Let's do the math. NYU is 65% female, and 50% of the males are gay. That leaves an assload of females ripe for the plucking ... so that should be fun. Maybe a nice flexible dancer chick ... ok, pardon me while I fantasize......................................................................

3-30-03 1:30 AM

Honestly: Best Day Ever (at least for me).

First, Sunil leads the academic team (which I'm on) to our second consecutive victory. And Feeney (spelling?) was our coach for the day. That kicked ass .. he's mad chill (you gotta love the ghetto-speak right there). Anyway, for first prize, we receive a garbage can and a tiny trophy ... and a chance to go to nationals at myrtle beach ... which interferes with the nationals we want to go to in New Orleans, so we don't know what we're doing, but whatever.

Then, I find out from NYU that they are giving me a full tuition scholarship, and all I have to do is pay for room and board. This means that NYU is now going to be cheaper for me than Rutgers. So that's basically decided: I'm going to NYU. (unless I get accepted into Columbia with a full scholarship .... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA) ....  yeah .. so I'm going to NYU.

Then I chilled with Wasserman and Justine Haber (spelling?) and one of his friends. We watched a movie and then went to Applebee's (spelling?), and I ordered extra spicy buffalo wings (really fucking spicy), which I then washed down with Jalapeño Poppers (also spicy) ... my stomach feels like its going to burst.

Yeah, so that was my day. Obviously, since it was so great of a day, I had to have a headache all day, but that's OK, cuz it kicked as anyway. (Holy shit ... most of that sentence rhymes)

I decided that if I died today, the obituary should read "Worst Thing Ever," just because I'm on such a high note that it's ridiculous. So, um ... yeah .. I'm going to go to sleep now, since - as you can tell from the shitty quality of my writing in this post - I'm already basically asleep.

MMMMmmmmmm ..... sssssssssssslllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppppp ..... *thud*

3-27-03 7:43 PM

Yo ... fuck Coffee ... tea is the shit. Yeah that's right: TEA.

No, I'm not turning into a Brit; but holy crap, tea is amazing. I think that I have developed such a tolerance for Caffeine that coffee no longer really gives me the buzz that I need; tea, on the other hand, has other stimulants in it (on top of a decent dose of caffeine) that make me very very happy.

I now drink tea every morning, and it does an excellent job of waking me up. I think it is due to tea that I haven't taken any exedrin in TWO DAYS. That's some sort of record, I think.

Oh yeah ... I had one interesting dream that you may have already heard about: In my dream, I had a sister ... and she was hot ... and we did the nasty. It was fun .. nothing like a little incest in your dreams to reaffirm your sanity. Or something.

3-24-03 7:50 PM

I woke up in an excellent mood today. I was in such a good mood that I dressed sort-of nicely and got to school early, just to enjoy the day. Of course, my body has a pathological opposition to me ever being happy; I promptly got a headache that is still gnawing away at me at this very moment.

Additionally, I got dropped from humanities. Apparently, I have 16 absences and 10 tardies. I think that I'm going to appeal, just for fun, since I'm going to get dropped again when I go to seaside after prom. Anyway, Dr. Burke threw a hissy fit and called my dad, telling him that I had a defeatist attitude, was arrogant, and was shooting myself in the foot. Yes ... it's all true ... but he also failed to mention that I don't care. Oh well.

So now that my day is over, I think that I'll just go to sleep. Maybe tomorrow I'll be happy AND not have a headache ... hmmm ... what a concept.

3-19-03 10:30 AM

So I was supposed to go skiing today. Instead I got sick. So I'm missing school anyway, but instead of enjoying it and skiing, I'm sitting at home and snotting.

Irony fucking sucks.

3-18-03 4:10 PM

The scissor in my Leatherman wave works wonderfully for cutting through my own flesh!

No ... I haven't become a masochist ... yet. You see, the wound in my foot decided to ooze some gooey, crumbly black stuff. So I decided to investigate. Turns out that the wound itself has basically healed, but it was covered by a flap of really thick dead skin, as would be expected for a wound on the ball of my foot. The black stuff was just crumbly old curdled blood that was trapped between the new skin that had grown and the flap of dead skin. So, I did the only reasonable thing .. I attacked my own foot with the scissors in my Leatherman tool. It was quite disgusting, but the flap of skin is now gone, and in its place is a quarter of a centimeter deep depression into my skin, about the size of a nickel part of which is still a bit scabbed over, even though I did my best to irrigate the wound.

Well .. now I'll just go throw up.

3-17-03 10:57 PM

What a surprise: I got rejected from MIT.

That was expected. What wasn't expected was that they'd reject people who were far more qualified than me, such as Vivek, Jon S., Shankar, etc. And those stupid bastards waitlisted Gene. WTF??? If they don't want those people, then who the fuck do they want?

Wait.... don't answer that question.

Anyway, I'd like to congratulate the few people from EB who did get in ... with a big friendly "KISS MY BIG HAIRY ASS!"

Just kidding ... good job, gals. Have fun hanging out with last year's E. Brunswick MIT attendants, if those haven't dropped out yet from the difficulty of the science. Oooops .... did I say that? But never mind; again, congratulations. After all, it isn't your fault that MIT FUCKING HATES ALL PEOPLE FROM EAST BRUNSWICK THAT HAVE A PENIS! So congratulations on not having one .. I mean on making it to MIT .. yeah, that's it.

And Bush's speech kicked some major sand-monkey ass! Now I have to rewrite my clarion article, but that's ok. Cuz it's time for WAR, baby! YEAH. Bomb those damn sand-worshipping bastards. KILL THEM ALL. Then we can pillage their oil and rape their damn burka-wearing wenches. And their little dog, too ..... Maybe then the colleges of this country would run out of ...... never mind. YOU SEE. It all goes back to that ..... that what they want me to think .... so that I'll go crazy..... but I'm not crazy ... THEY ARE!!!!!

I'M CALM. I'M CALM. I'm Calm. I'm Calm. I'm calm. i'm calm...........

i'm out.

3-15-03 10:37

So apparently I have a prom date (so everyone out there who has made it a mission of theirs to get me to go can now stop).

Now, onto something more in my character: I should soon receive my rejection letter letter from MIT. Yay!

Now I have to go program, because I need to get something done today before I go to Philly for Hot Import Night.

Oh yeah, before I forget: Jedwin, you can give me the $135 any time this week. (You're going).

3-13-03 12:13 AM

First of all, I am absolutely paranoid. At least initially, I don't believe a word that anyone says, especially if what they are saying has an impact on how I am expected to act.

I know that I say that I hate everyone, but as you have probably figured out, that is just a shtick. However, there are people that I really hate: liars. You may have noticed that amongst the various socially unacceptable things that I do, lying is markedly absent. This is a warning. Never lie to me. Ever. I will find out, and you will be unhappy. (BTW, I am not accusing anyone of lying, I'm just saying that in the possibility that you are, you'll regret it with unmatched sorrow.)

Additionally, I hate gossip. Even when it is based in fact (which it sometimes is), all it can do is make any situation uncomfortable for the parties involved. So stop gossiping.

Up to now, this post may not make sense to some people; if it does not make sense to you, don't worry, it's probably a good sign, since it means that you don't participate in gossiping.

Now that I have finished my disclaimer about things that may or may not be true, I'll start my actual post:

I wrote an article about our foreign policy today ... although it's not really that great, I really like it because it doesn't really use quotes or statistics; it's basically a logical exercise. It will probably fly over the heads of most of the Clarion's readers, but that's ok.

In other news, I'm failing humanities. Not like Asian-failing (B+ ... haha, I'm such a racist) ... I'm actually certifiably getting an F. Yeah ... so somebody in that class told the teacher my SAT score ... hehe .. she can't figure out what the hell is wrong with me. I love being self-destructive.

Speaking of which: I still didn't take the Stat. test from last Monday. Oh, and I decided to take a zero on the last Bio. Lab.

I'm going down the toilet in flames. Yay!!!!

3-11-03 Humanities Class

I hate musicals.

No … it goes beyond that. I can’t even understand how anyone could enjoy them.

First of all, they all sound the same. It’s ridiculous how similar all the music in musicals is. Being that the creators of these worthless works of pseudo-music cannot risk to offend any segment of their generic audience with any sort of unique music, all musicals have the same bland brand of vocal garbage.

Anyway, the whole concept of forcing a story to be told with music is ridiculous. Whenever the focus of music changes from the beauty of the music to the telling of a story, the quality of the music invariably suffers.

Basically, the only work that ever succeeded at both telling a story and being musically brilliant is Pink Floyd: The Wall. I’d just like to say that if you haven’t seen this movie (yes, there is a movie of it) at least 4 times, then you don’t even know what the power of music is. And I’m not just saying this as a Pink Floyd fan.

The reason that I am writing all of this is that, right now, I’m sitting in humanities being forced to watch Joseph and the amazing Technicolor Queercoat. I’ve heard from various people that this show is supposed to great. I’m going to systematically skin all of these morons. Holy shit … this thing fucking sucks. It’s makes me want to rip out my ear, eyes, and … for that matter .. my own balls. Why the hell would people in the middle east have Texan accents????? What the hell were these people thinking?? AHHHHHH?

Yeah, so uh …. Don’t go to faggoty broad-way musicals …. Go watch Pink Floyd: The Wall.

Speaking of flits … I visited NYU on Sunday …. And guess what I saw? Yeah .. you guessed it … fags. Well, they weren’t actually at NYU (or the ones there weren’t flaming, so I couldn’t really tell); these two guys, right outside of the campus limits, were holding hands, and they were both wearing black leather with various metal studs coming out of it. The 80s are over you damn walking stereotypes. Bastards.

And you know what else I saw at NYU … (and this wasn’t as expected) … DUMB PEOPLE. Holy shit .. you’d think that at an institution as selective as NYU, they wouldn’t allow dumb people to profane the halls… but no!!! At a demo lecture about astrophysics, this one fucking moron kid (who made NYU, since he was in attendance) asked, “Do you mean that they can do fusion in some places on Earth?????” Fucking retard. And then there was this girl there, who wanted so desperately to sound intelligent, that she spoke the way that I write my English essays when I want to piss of the teacher with my arrogance. She used the word “aforementioned” while speaking, for God’s sake. I hate these morons.

Yeah … so basically … I want to get into Columbia or MIT so that I can avoid these unrepentant idiots.

Um .. yeah … fucking morons.

3-7-03 10:38 PM

I have a love/hate relationship with myself.

Everybody knows I love myself (and don’t add ‘often’ to the end of the sentence … perverts). I don’t have to elaborate, since I’m sure than anyone who reads this site has heard me rant about how great I am. Just yesterday I said that “I’m amazing.” And regardless of what you think - since it is wholly irrelevant - I am.

But oh god … “I hate myself and want to die.” (T-shirt quote). But I’m serious, though. An analysis of my behavior exposes my obvious tendency for self-destruction. Why else would I hand in assignments late even when I can easily do them on time? Why else would I dress in the blandest of shades of khaki? And why the fuck else would I act like a degenerate twit when what I really should be doing is acting like a ‘nice guy?’ Obviously, I’m trying to make life as difficult for myself as I possibly can. And, o glory, I am succeeding. Between alienating myself from everyone, and undermining my future, I really have done everything I could to make my life miserable. Short of self-mutilation, I guess … but I really don’t like pain, so I don’t see that happening any time soon. So I really fucking hate me.

So I exist as two ridiculously opposed sides of myself … the one that likes itself and the one that hates itself. Every day they fight for control of my actions, and every day the self-hating side wins. I think that unless something gives, that side will fucking kill the self-loving side, and all that will be left will be a writhing mass of self-destructive hatred. And then ... well … I’m fucked. And so are you.

Because my anger is never taken out on me alone.

3-6-03 11:20 PM

Being a cripple is fun. Well, I guess it wouldn't be fun if I had to be a cripple every day, but, just temporarily, being a cripple is an interesting break from normalcy. For example, instead of my normal way of rushing through the halls in order to avoid the masses, I now get to savor every moment of my hate for them, since I am forced to walk through the halls slowly. Walking around NYU on Sunday should be fun. Maybe I'll get some sort of cripple-scholarship.

In other news, I'm amazing. I managed to write a page long paper about how Chinua Achebe's childhood influenced the book Things Fall Apart in 30 minutes. The thing is, I have never read Things Fall Apart, and before being given this assignment, had never heard of Chinua Achebe. So, basically, I win.

I'd like to congratulate Sunil at doing a better impression of me than I myself could ever pull of. It's truly a wonderful thing. For example, today in biology, he, in his best Henry-voice, said "I'm going to turn your entire family into a squirming cesspool of maggots." Brilliant. Truly brilliant.

Hmm ... what else? ... oh ... I ordered two DVDs: Pink Floyd: The Wall and Akira. The total, with shipping came out to only $35 ... I love www.half.com. It's great.

I apologize for this post, and I promise that soon I will again post something that is not shitty blog-fodder. Maybe a poem or something.

Goodnight.

3-5-03 9:33 PM

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GODDAMNIT!!!!

I'm talking, of-course, about DDR. You see, today, while playing DDR at Matt's house, I had to play without any shoes, as the only shoes that I had with me were my boots. So, everything was fine until I tried to play a song that I had never played before. You see, at that point, I missed the fucking button, and stepped (with all my might) onto the head of a screw. This screw-head happily crushed the skin of the sole of my foot, and bounced merrily off of my bone. Matt, Matt, and Neel can attest to the fact that I was actually delirious with pain. And bleeding. Oh, what fun. My body released so many endorphins to compensate for the soul-withering agony in my foot that my headache went away. So that was good.

Then we went to get pizza, so I had to walk around outside in one shoe. Just a prelude to my future as a homeless bum.

3-3-03 8:00 AM

I really should be at school right now, but I don't want to take that damn Stat test. So instead of studying I went to sleep at 7:30, and then slept for the next 12 hours. That was fun.

In other news, we LOST at Science Bowl. Completely unacceptable. The bus going to the competition had 5 1600's on it, for God's sake... and we still lost. Whatever. Just more proof that I am brain dead.

Well, that's all .... I don't feel like whining now, so I'll save it for later.