1-30-03 10:34 PM

Still sick.

It's really nasty. So much goddamn snot is coming out of my nose that my room has more used Kleenex laying around than Jedwin's does. (Same product, different uses)

Goddamn plague.

1-29-03 10:07 PM

I'm Sick.

Really fucking sick.

I was fine until I walked into Bio, and then my goddamn nose started leaking like a syphilitic penis. So I’m not going to school tomorrow.

In stat, Mr. Paz read off the list of assignments that people are missing. When he got to my name, it was like: “Henry: You’re missing ALL of the labs and most of the HW assignments … and the Craps WS.” So I have to hand it all in by Fri.

In other news, my English teacher said that my research paper “read like watered-down Sparknotes,” and that I shouldn’t have to use them. Basically, he said “I know that you cheated on this paper.” He’s really a nice guy though, ‘cuz he didn’t give me a zero, but instead gave me a 12/20. With this, and my 88 midterm, I managed to get an 80 for the semester. Although this is the lowest grade in the class, it’s good enough for me.

In clarion, Rahil said that after reading my website he wanted to cry and kill himself. Thank you Rahil, I’m glad that someone got my message.

And so ends another shitty blog-esque post. I’m really sorry. It’s ‘cuz I’m so sick.

1-26-03 11:25 PM

Wonderful News! I'm now managing this website with Dreamweaver MX instead of Frontpage.

Isn't that great?

Maybe I'll change the design of this website later, just to learn all that crazy art-fag web-design stuff like CSS and DHTM. Or maybe not.

1-24-03 6:00 PM

I don't really want to update, so here is the weirdest picture ever. (Don't worry ... its not porn or anything ... this isn't Jedwin's website!)

1-18-03 Time Unkown

Dear Sellouts, Losers, and Tools,

So, apparently, MTV is going to be at our school for the next six months.

When the announcement was made, I was sitting in humanities. Now, for the uninitiated, let me explain that humanity is full of the “people” that I never speak with: the chimps. As can be expected from these “people”, they started jumping up and down like little schoolgirls screaming about how “cool” it is that MTV is coming. Pathetic.

Unlike them, I actually took a minute to think about the implications of MTV’s intrusion before making a decision as to my opinion about it. Well, I have formulated an opinion: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, THIS FUCKING SUCKS.

I don’t think that anybody realizes how much suck-potential this situation contains. Let me explain. MTV is going to bring cameras into our school. Now, the halls are crowded already, so can you imagine what will happen when the cameras are brought it? Hall traffic will STOP. Yes, I said stop. Not slow down, but come to a complete screeching halt. The degenerates that profane our school will be unable to resist the urge to stop and pose for the cameras, just in case that particular footage is used. And so, the halls will become an accurate simulation of the flow-rate of window-glass. (In case you are wondering, IT DOESN'T FLOW!)

Fine, so there are disadvantages to having MTV infest our school, but perhaps there are advantages that outweigh the negatives. Hmmm …. Let’s see …. There is a minute potential that your face will momentarily blink on the TV, to be remembered by no-one other than yourself, as you will invariably waste time waiting for MTV to show it. And, um, you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren that you were on MTV. That's about it. Mhmmm … real cool stuff.

Now, it would be OK if the only people who became enamored with the concept of being on MTV for a minute or two were the aforementioned idiots and twits; they have nothing else to look forward to in life, and this momentary elevation from anonymity would be the highlight of their pathetic existences. What really pisses me off is when intelligent people, who can look forward to having a real, meaningful future, get sucked into this dream of having their 15 minutes of fame. WHY. How will you benefit you, [insert your sorry name here] , in the unlikely event that you are picked to be one of the people whom MTV follows about? Well? Will it make you feel special? If it does, then, my friend, I have grossly overestimated you.

So all of you who are excited about MTV’s presence are basically short-sighted, attention craving losers, and should remove yourselves from my sight by going and watching more non-musical shows about nothing on MUSIC Television.

You fags!

Signed,

Henry

1-15-03 9:18 PM

So today was basically the best day ever.

I woke up at 6:30, looked at the clock, said “fuck this”, and went back to sleep. I still don’t know why I did that, but it was just amazing. Not going to school kicks ass.

So this was my schedule for the rest of the day (I may be off on some of the times  ... the whole thing is a blur):

10:00 AM – Wake Up
10:00 AM to 1:00 PM – Read online comics
1:00 PM to 2:00 PM – Walk in Frost Woods
2:00 PM to 5:00 PM – Sleep Again
5:30 PM to 7:30 PM – Play DDR

And that’s basically it; how great is that?

All is not peachy, however, as I do have a tough assignment to do for Humanities. It’s the final project for the semester, and the only requirement was basically that it be a work of art that is at least five minutes long. As you know, most people do a stupid group video to complete this project; however, being that I really didn’t want to work with anyone in that class, I decided to do the project on my own. I decided that I would write a five minute long poem. Obviously I must have not stopped to consider exactly how long that is; according to my calculations involving the speed at which I read my poems, it’s going to have to be 40 stanzas, or 160 lines. Shit. And it’s due on Friday.

Furthermore, there is an ever worse problem: when I chose the subject matter for the poem, I was still depressed about ________________________; this dictated that I choose to write about a depressing subject. I settled on writing about the life of some person who is always waiting for something good to happen, as in Waiting for Godot, and then dies a broken old geezer. Kind of like the Hopelessness thing I have in my prose section. Now this would all have been fine if I wrote the poem then, but I have to write it now. This will sound strange, but unfortunately, I’m not depressed at all. I spent the whole day with a goofy grin on my face. So how the hell am I supposed to write 160 lines of suicidal angst if I haven’t any.

Damn.

1-14-03 10:04 PM

I FINISHED!!!! Yup ... I'm finally done with all of college apps. Hurray for me!

Now this is going to sound very, very cliché, but I don't care, so here goes: I can't write poetry now that I'm "back to normal."

It's horrible ... without depression, or longing, or both, I just can't write. I sit down and end up with things like "I am mad / Mad is bad / It makes me sad / That I am mad."

Maybe I'll be able to start writing again once I get rejected from all of my colleges ....

1-12-03 3:42 PM

Today my dad got into the strangest car accident in the known history of the universe; he got hit by the same car five times.

Obviously, the accident happened under unusual circumstances.

My dad was going through a carwash in the Durango when the mechanism that was supposed to pull the car along decoupled. Unsurprisingly, the Durango stopped moving; the Honda Civic behind him, unfortunately, did not. And so the car wash continued to pull the Civic forward into the unyielding steel of the frighteningly overbuild Durango. Again and Again and Again and Again. Similarly, the car behind the Civic hit into the Civics’ rear. Now, if you have ever been through a carwash, you know that you can’t really see anything due to the washing machinery and the associated suds. Therefore, it took some time to realize what was going on and to put the Durango in gear and drive forward.

By the end of this fiasco, the Durango had scratches, the Civic was mashed front and rear, and the car behind the Civic had fled the scene.

And that is why, when I finally get a car that I like, I’ll wash it by hand.

1-10-03 10:28 PM

So I haven't really been updating this week, due to the fact that a majority of my free time has been dominated by the construction of Matt's homebuilt DDR pad. You can find pictures of what Matt and I ended up with at http://mywebpages.comcast.net/neo2/index.htm. Amazingly, the thing works perfectly.

Oh man, I love DDR. Its one of the few things in which you can directly measure your progress; as your scores grow, you can watch yourself improve.

It's so addictive: one you get hooked, that's it. Perhaps the effect was particularly strong on me due to my over-competitive nature (I can't let other people be better than me at DDR, so I have to keep trying to improve.) 

Anyways ... now Matt has a metal DDR pad which is basically identical to those at the arcade ... and you don't.

1-6-03 8:03 PM

Matt sent me this: http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/ddrhawking.html?; it is the funniest thing ever.

Or I'm very easily amused.

You be the judge.

1-4-03 2:27 AM

I think that I might have finally lost my mind.

Case in point: yesterday I woke up at 1 pm. Now, this wouldn’t be such a noteworthy occurrence, had it not been on a school night, and had what happened next not occurred. You see, after eating breakfast, I decided to take a walk … to school … in the rain. And to tell you the truth, I don’t really know why. So I arrived at the school an hour later, soaking wet, just as the final bell rang. For the next hour or so, I wandered around the school doing nothing, and then proceeded to walk to Matt’s house, again, in the rain.

What fun!

I spent the rest of the day being taught how to use binary newsgroups by Matt. If you don’t know what this is … GOOD! Unless you want to fill your hard drive in a matter of days, stay the hell away from newsgroups. There is something fun, however, about downloading at 1.3 Mbps.

Also, I'd like to make a corollary to yesterday's post: maybe I will go to prom ... there seems to be a slight chance. I just have to act before my "friends" can "help" me anymore. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, that's ok.)

I apologize for making a blog-esque post again, but I have nothing profound to say right now.

Goodnight.

1-3-03 1:05 AM

So now that I am basically done with college apps, I have a new thing to worry about: prom.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hold on a second … I think I just soiled myself.

You see, some of my friends have decided to make a mission out of forcing me to go. Evidently, they don’t realize exactly who they are dealing with. They seem to be blissfully ignorant of the fact that they have a Sisyphean task ahead of them.

Just for fun, let us examine the pragmatic and ethical questions of me going to the prom.

First of all, I think that it would be odd if I showed up alone. Enough said.

Secondly, I don’t dance. And what is the prom? Oh yeah …. A dance. That won’t work well. I don’t think that whoever is unlucky enough to be coerced into being my date would appreciate sitting at the table for four hours doing absolutely nothing.

Now the ethical question: Why would I want to ruin the prom for other people? I mean, my presence alone is enough to dampen the spirits of those in my immediate vicinity. I don’t think that most people would appreciate being assaulted with a barrage of quasi-depressed, cynical rants while they are tying to eat, drink, and be merry. On top of that, I get irritable at social functions; I would probably start a fight with someone, and the remainder of the prom would be spent scraping that person’s (or my) remains off of the floor, walls, and ceiling.

So, as you can see, the chances of me going to prom approximately equal the chances of me simultaneously winning the Nobel Peace Prize and a heavyweight boxing championship while riding a flying pig around a frozen pond in hell. On a leap year.

Oh well, so much for that.

1-2-03 12:46 AM

For the new year, I will copy Jedwin and use pink on my website. There. That is the only dose of color you will get, so savor it.

In other news, I reorganized the archives section.

Enjoy.

Additionally, I got rid of that annoying counter at the bottom of the page. I'm so confident that people are reading this site that I no longer need it. Or I accidentally deleted it: you be the judge.