4-29-03 9:42 PM

There is a disease that is infecting the technologically adept youth of out country. It is making the pale skin of nerds everywhere even whiter, while slowing down internet connections around the globe. While the proper name for this ailment has yet to be found, it is affectionately know in technological circles as "Download Syndrome."

A prime example of a victim of this enigmatic infection is my friend Matt W. Now, it comes as no surprise to many people that Matt would download many things onto his computer. After all, whenever anyone wants any program (without having to pay for it ... um .. never mind), they come to Matt. In fact, if the downloading ended with useful programs, or even with games, then Matt would not qualify for a diagnosis of Download Syndrome. However, having run out of good programs and music to download, Matt began to show symptoms: he started to download random techno just for the purpose of expanding the volume of his collection; he started to download programs that are substandard versions of the programs he already has. This started to raise my concern for my friend, as one can quickly loose a friend to this horrid disease.

The he started downloading shows. Shows that he could watch on TV. Shows that he downloaded just to waste bandwidth. I was going to suggest counseling, but then came the final straw.

Today, Matt W. download a show about PLUMBING. I swear on everything holy. A show about plumbing. A detailed account of plumbing's history and applications. No excuse will work; he downloaded a show about plumbing. It is now too late. Unfortunately, the only humane alternative at this point is termination. Goodbye, old friend; it's been nice knowing you.

(If any of you are in the lamentable position of having a friend in need of counseling for his Download Syndrome affliction, feel free to contact me for information on how to help him, before, as is the unfortunate case with Matt W., it is too late.)

4-27-03 12:01 AM

This is a follow up post to my previous argument against organized religion. I was thinking a bit more deeply about the subject, and it occurred to me that my chastisement was not strong enough. I said that I only wanted to criticize the practices of organized religions, not the beliefs. I would like to amend that: the beliefs are wrong as well, since the entire concept of religious worship is ridiculous.

Let us assume, for the sake of argument, that there is a singular, all-powerful God. (My argument will also work against polytheistic religions, too, but just work with me here.) He created the universe and all that is in it. Everything you see around you was created by this supreme deity: the stars, the moon, the earth, the grass, your house, your family, and you. Everything. Surely, in this hypothetical situation, God is unbelievable powerful. Just imagine the satisfaction of creating such a marvelously grand thing as the universe itself.

Now think about this: why would a being so omnipotent that he could create the universe get a proverbial hard-on from being worshiped? Why would God want worship, when he has the power to create EVERYTHING? If you had the power to create the world itself, would you care whether or not some worthless semi-sentient blob of carbon bowed down on its knees and kissed your all-powerful ass. Of course not!

If there is a Hell, why would God send you to it for ignoring Him? Are you implying that He is so insecure that he needs constant reassuring of His own existence? Being that He created the universe itself, I’m sure that He could handle being ignored by one of the life forms that He created.

Let us look at a worldlier example for an analogy: people who need to be reassured of their worth are typically worthless. Nobody who is truly confident in themselves needs other people to tell them their positive attributes. Only unconfident losers (like myself) try to convince others of their worth; truly confident people are so sure of their worth that they don’t need to do this. And yet the major religions of the world assume that God himself needs to be reassured of his supremacy; they are, in effect, implying that God is going through teen angst (an assumption which I find highly unlikely.)

Basically, what I am saying is that, if you believe in an all-powerful God, you don’t need to worry about offending Him by not worshiping. If your God is such a pansy that He would shed tears over your rejection of Him, then He is not truly powerful, and therefore, is unworthy of your praise in the first place. So why not just live your life, and let God marvel at His creations without you force-feeding unneeded flattery down His throat.

4-26-03 1:23 AM

(Be forewarned ... this post is an extremely angry rant that WILL offend people ... and I'm not sure about the grammar or spelling, either)

Recently, I’ve been in such a trance that I’ve been forgetting to notice the very thing that defines the world as it is today: human stupidity.

Luckily, I got a massive dose of reality today from watching the news; there was a show on about anti-American sentiments in Iraq and the rest of the Arab world. Now, it’s not like I wasn’t aware of these feelings before, but the particular things that were shown on this show made me cringe at the stupidity that people are capable of.

They showed Shiite Muslims in Iraq, who had not been allowed to practice their religions under Saddam’s regime, simultaneously celebrating one of their holidays, and protesting against the American presence in Iraq. Now, I know that such language has no place in political commentary, but these people are fucking retards. The only reason that they can even congregate is that America saved their miserable asses from Saddam, and they use the opportunity to bitch about America’s presence in their little worthless piss-ant country. FUCK THEM. How fucking retarded can you be? I mean honestly, a Down’s syndrome infant could put two and two together and realize that it should be kissing America’s ass for saving it; these filthy ungrateful pieces of shit would rather bite the hand that feeds them. Ridiculous.

And you know what I blame for this overwhelming stupidity? Organized religion.

Yeah that’s right. I hate all organized religion, Judaism included. I’m not talking about beliefs, I’m talking about practice. I have no problem with people being devoutly religious: if you think that there is a God, good for you. I don’t know if there is or isn’t one, and it isn’t my place to preach either side of this issue. But organized religion is just shit. If you need to define yourself by going to some glorified whorehouse and having some old bastard tell you what you need to believe, then you can just kiss my ass. You are not a Christian / Muslim / Buddhist / Jew … you are *insert your name here*. If you define yourself primarily by what particular brand of crap you listen to every week (or however often you go to church / temple / mosque), then you have no true identity. And because you have no true identity, you feel that you are somehow not responsible for your beliefs, since they were given to you as opposed to you coming up with them yourself. And that is what allows stupid shit like that exemplified in the pervious paragraph to occur.

If you find this insulting, then I’m talking about you. Every word is for you. If you are insulted by what I have written, then you need to sit the fuck down and take a long hard look at your life. What are you doing? Why do you have to go to your house of worship and listen to some failure at life preach to you about what a fucking sheep you are supposed to be. Why can’t you worship your God(s) on your own, without having some old child-raping asshole tell you how? Because you are weak-minded, that’s why. Because you need someone to hold your junk when you take a piss, so that you don’t miss the fucking urinal. Because you are a loser. If you were a real (wo)man, you’d be able to take some fucking responsibility for yourself, and worship and think with your own mind, not your shepherd’s.

So be offended, if that’s what it’s going to take for you to pull your head out of your ass and smell the sweat smell of reality: that you are a fucking sheep, and you are about to be sacrificed at the alter of stupidity. Wake the fuck up and stop being a statistic of the world’s idiocy, you subjugated mindless bastard.

If God(s) exist(s), (t)he(y) do(es) not live in a building, nor do(es) (t)he(y) tell you to hate or love anyone or anything. You have a brain for a reason. How about you try and use it, hmm? As shown by the example from the third paragraph, most people don’t use theirs.

4-23-03 11:26 PM

Today kicked amazing amounts of ass.

I spent the entire day in NYC with Matt and Jedwin. First, we went to the the car show. It was pretty cool, considering that there was a Enzo there. So hot. Anyway, there's not much that can be said about that, so ... moving on.

We walked from the car show all the way to canal street, and then back to NYU, since we actually had no idea where anything was. Anyway, once we got to NYU, we met Jedwin's friend, who's name I can't spell, but who I know from calc class last year (she's the Asian girl that drew those really funny pictures of Charanis.)

So NYU is insane. It is surrounded by deviant sex shops and head shops. A nice combination.

I also picked up the village newspaper. Um ... interesting ... the whole thing is basically about art and sex. The back 10 pages are all ads for whores. I can't really convey the strangeness of this paper, so I'll bring it to school tomorrow. Enjoy.

Oh, I also saw Cooper Union. Haha ... fun stuff. The whole thing is two or three buildings. I can see why they share a library with NYU. Have fun, Feldman.

Yeah, so I'm going to go to sleep now. Yay! School.

4-22-03 9:03 PM

Today I realized that I am going to die before I'm done with freshman year of college.

You see, I am getting the unlimited meal plan from NYU. This means that I can get as many meals as I want. From what I hear, a meal consists of all the food I can eat during meal time. Therefore, I can get all the food I can eat as many times as I want. Infinity Squared meals per day. I am going to be immense.

I am going to get so fat that the rolls of blubber from my stomach are going to form an impenetrable barrier around my crotch, thereby eliminating my ability to urinate, and therefore forcing me to retain water, which will make me even fatter. And so on and so forth, until I weigh so much that I collapse under my own gravity, and form a neutron star.

At this point, it is safe to say that I will be dead. Oh well.

In the less distant future, I am going to be in NYC again tomorrow, to see the car show, and to visit the dorm of some NYU person that Jedwin knows. So I'm sure I'll actually have something to write about then, unlike now. Bye.

4-21-03 10:50 PM

I accomplished a lot today. It was wonderful. First I played DDR. Then ... um ... I ... um ... yeah.

I did start reading The Picture of Dorian Gray, which seems to be interesting, but I am only a few pages into it.

I'm sure that nobody really cares about what I did today, but I had nothing else to write about. I'm sorry. Goodbye. I'm going to be at Sports 'n Stuff tomorrow at 10 AM if anyone is interested in showing up besides Sharon and Matt.

Later.

4-21-03 8:24 AM

Why is the name of God in Heaven am I awake? Ridiculous. I woke up two hours early, and now I have nothing to do. I demand to fall back asleep. NOW!!. ..................... damn, it didn't work. Oh well; time to complain.

You see, my two closest friends aren't here. Matt's in Pittsburg and Matt's in Italy. So I am all alone. Shed a tear for poor lonely me.

However, all is not lost. You see, when all else fails: DDR!!!!!! I already have the next two days booked for crazy crazy amounts of dance dance revolution. Today at 10 AM, when Sports 'n Stuff opens, I'm meeting Jon S and Jedwin (maybe) there. And then tomorrow I'm meeting Sharon there at opening to try and teach her some DDR (she' really bad ... oooops ... um ... I didn't say that). So I'm all set.

DDR OWNS YOUR SPHINCTER!

That having been said, I'd like to add that nobody should ever play DDR unless they enjoy nearly constant pain in their shins. It's good stuff. I'm such a masochist. Oh well.

Oh yeah .... my ridiculously hot sunglasses got bent. *sob ... sniffle ... sniffle* This time it actually wasn't my fault (I was bashed in the face during ultimate practice) .... I'm going to try and fix them, but if that doesn't work ... well ... I'll probably break down and cry like a little girl.

Hmm .. what else. Oh ... new record! I got 102 hits on this site yesterday. Um ... never mind that a good 20 of them were from me (I always review my website to make sure I didn't put anything that I didn't intend to) ... it's still impressive ... or at least I think so.

WOW! This has been far and away my worst post ever! It's actually about nothing. That's amazing. I suck. If I wasn't so in love with life right now, I'd go kill myself. Oh well .. I'll do that later. teehee ... bye! La La La La  ... singing is fun.

4-20-03 10:35 AM

I often say that I don't really care what people think of me; this is only partially the truth. I don't care what regular people think of me. If some average kid thinks that I'm a loser, that's fine with me. However, when somebody who is obviously intelligent and whom I respect thinks or says negative things about me, it bothers me immensely. It bothers me far more than it should, but I can't help it. In that particular sense, I am very easily hurt.

Recently, I have come under such an attack from a person whom I don't know that well, but know well enough to consider her opinions important. Even though the work in question wasn't even primarily about me, she (who will go nameless for the purpose of this response) said some very specific and very hurtful things about me, which I would like to refute. Therefore, I am going to clarify some things about myself, as to avoid confusion about what type of person I really am. This is basically a response to the specific accusations made against me, and therefore does not reveal what character traits I value in myself; rather, it merely explains how I do not fit the image portrayed of me in a certain work.

First of all, contrary to what may seem obvious, I am not arrogant or vain. Most people who have known me for any considerable amount of time have come to realize, correctly, that it's just an act. It's a show. It's a running gag. That's all. I don't actually think that I am smarter / better looking / cooler / more important than I really am. In essence, I have a realistic estimate of my self-worth in my head; however, it is completely independent of the inflated value that I present to the world on a daily basis. I just thought that I made a clear enough distinction between reality and my shtick; obviously I didn't, and I apologize. I'll try and tone it down a bit.

Next, I am not now, nor have I ever been, a sex fiend. Actually, I am at a total loss as to where anyone would get this idea, for a simple list of the girls that I have so much as held hands with reveals the truth. If I wanted sex so badly, I could have gotten it at any time from any one of the hundreds of sluts in our school; needless to say, I didn't go anywhere near them. Obviously, then, sex is not, and never has been, my primary motivation for seeking a relationship. Unlike the accusation of arrogance, which has some merit, this accusation is completely baseless; I do not appreciate this slanderous sullying of my character, especially since I am the polar opposite of the person that I am portrayed as.

Finally, I'd like to make a general point about etiquette. As you know, if you are a regular reader of this website, I complain about many many things. I criticize or whine about everything from the trivial to the metaphysically earth-shattering. Often, I even digress into cursing or SCREAMING when I get sufficiently angry about the topic that I am writing about. However, you can search through my entire website, and aside from my Letter to Jedwin and other such jokes, you will not find anything that was written specifically to insult or hurt one of my peers. Never. Not once, in my recollection (and call me on it if I'm wrong), did I write something like "________ is a jerk" or "I hate _____________", while talking about a person that might be a reader of this website. The closest I ever came to doing something like this was when I made fun of Mr. Moran in one of my updates; I have felt bad about that update since I put it up. The point of all of this is that a website is not the place to proclaim to the world your gripes with particular individuals. It is completely unfair to do so, because you are not giving the person a chance to defend themselves. The only outcome is that, once your anger subsides, you will feel awful about putting such harsh commentary in public view.

What I am saying, is that if anyone has anything bad to say about me, I would prefer that they say it to my face. I'd like to think that am well on my way to becoming an adult, and as such, I think that I can handle sincere criticism. If fact, I would appreciate any, since I am obviously flawed, and would like to better myself. However, please do not post hurtful things about me or anybody else on your website, because everyone will end up regretting it.

I'd like to conclude by saying that I am not trying to censer anybody; if you really believe that you are doing the right thing with your site, then by all means, continue to do so. It is not my place or anybody else's to tell you what you can and cannot do. In fact, I plan on continuing to visit your site, since it is my personal opinion that it is extremely interesting. However, I think that upon a more thorough examination, you too will realize that your latest update is unjust, and has no reason for defacing your otherwise excellent website.

4-18-03 4:14 PM

I just got back from NYU. NYU is cool. I like NYU.

Anyway, the only way that NYU can be cool is if NYC is cool; it is. However, there are some city issues that I'm going to have to adjust to. First of all, there's the smell. No, wait ... let's make that plural: smells. You see, although New Jersey has the nickname "the armpit of America," it actually has nothing on the fetid malodorous stink bomb that is NYC.

For example, we were trying to get on subway train. The person in front of us got on, then sharply ran out while gagging and making horrid faces. So, slightly confused, I took a whiff. HOLY SHIT. The smell was unbelievable. It was a combination of vomit, urine, feces, road kill, garbage, bile, sulfur, and every other heinous odor that Satan would use to torture you in Hell. It smelled like Auschwitz during a heat wave. I thought I was going to die. The last time that I had so much olfactory discomfort was when I took an enormous drag of Ammonia, and let me tell you, that stuff hurt like falling into a Pungi-pit full of acid.

We waited for the next train.

Then there are all the poor bastards that beg you to donate/buy/watch shit. I hate those worthless lazy degenerate bastards. When I wasn't being assaulted by homeless shitpiles who wanted my nonexistent spare change (not that I would give those loafers a turd, not to mention money), I was being harassed by their "employed" brethren trying to get me to take a tour or see a strip show or get my shoes waxed. Assholes. I don't want any of your shit, you whores. If I did want anything, I'd ask for it, you rotting piles of monkey organs. So leave me the fuck alone.

Other than that, NYC is a pretty cool place. Everything is really shiny (near Times Square), so I can see my reflection a lot, which is cool. Plus, I doubt that I will get bored living there, since if I did so I would know that it was my fault, unlike when I get bored in this one-horse pimple on New Jersey's ass called East Brunswick.

So I think that I'm going to like college. Rooming with Jedwin is going to be cool; so far, we have decided that we need the following things for our room (in no particular order): DDR pad, mirror-ball, hentai wallpaper, pole-dancing pole, a plant, a couch, a tv, some computers, my Klipsch speakers, and a "Do Not Enter" sign for the door. Yeah ... we're going to be mackin' the chicks hardcore. Or ... something.

4-17-03 9:46 PM

;-)

4-17-03 1:07 PM

Let it be known now and forever that my brother of almost nine years is an idiotic jerk. He is the one reason that I can't have a normal conversation with my mother. He is the one reason that I can't stand being at home. He is the bane of my familial existence. And on top of it, he is a moron. I hope that in seven or eight years, when I am done with college and grad school, I will come back and find that he has blossomed into a decent human being. Until then, I count the days until I am no longer forced to bear witness to his incessant idiocy.

4-16-03 8:15 PM

Ok, first of all, I'd like to apologize for the butterfly metaphor. I've actually become so deliriously joyful that I've also become stupid. Anyway.

Today, for the first time ever, I wore my black wife beater looking muscle shirt thingy outside of the house. I don't really have much muscle to show off with it, but I think I looked good. Reactions, I might add, were overwhelmingly positive (female reactions included). They were probably just trying to make me feel good, but whatever, ignorance is bliss.

So I think I'm going to wear this type of clothing more often. I'm tired of my passé clothing, I want something more exciting. Maybe  .... *gasp* ..... colors.

Well, anyway ... happy Passover for all you Jews out there. As for me, the Jew food made my stomach hurt. Bye. :)

4-15-03 8:17 PM

Once upon a time a boy into the world was born. Premature: A shriveled blue wreck. But everyone was struck by the ferocity of his voice. While all the other children whimpered, he bellowed in protest of his being forced to enter the harsh cold. And as he grew, his screams continued; they grew in complexity, but not in concept. He hated the frozen world and all who lived in it.

Eventually, his mind developed to the point where he realized that he hated himself more than he hated the world; he was colder than it could ever be. He became his own rage manifest in flesh: a gloating mockery of himself, wallowing in the hatred that his hatred of others brought him in return. And he could not - no, he would not stop. If his rage was gone, he would surely evaporate: a fire out of fuel. And he wrote verse to convince himself of it; and let others see it to convince them. And they believed him, or at least pretended to. And he sank deeper and deeper into despair.

And then one day he thought that he saw a ladder by which to crawl back to the light. And he waited and waited for the ladder to be within his feeble grasp. He finally grabbed for it; he missed, not realizing that he himself had kicked it out of his reach; He stabbed and expected helping hands in return. He got none.

Seeing no way out of the pit, he settled in; Perhaps his niche was that of torment, forever chasing rays of light through the infinite vacuum of his personal hell. And he withered. He starved and he shriveled and finally, by the grace of a higher power, he died.

And out of his rotten carcass I emerged; a butterfly escaping from the crumbling cocoon of his burned out husk. And the world brightened in my eyes as I saw the radiance of my wings. And the wind beneath them raised me up, for he no longer shriveled them with venomous hate. And the higher I go, the faster I rise. Away from the pit, and towards heaven.

4-14-03 9:14 PM

If such a thing is possible, my hotness has increased. Yes, it's true; I got new sunglasses to replace the ones that I destroyed in a fit of rage. And they are hot, if I do say so myself.

I got them cheap too ... they used to be $100, and I got them for $40. Anyway, you can all marvel at the wonderful adornment of my face tomorrow, as I'm sure that I will be vainly showing off all day. Bye.

4-13-03 5:09 PM

Dear God, it finally happened: The East Brunswick Ultimate Team won a game.

Alright, I'm exaggerating (we have won before), but winning, at least in recent years, has been a rare thing indeed.

Of course, our win actually says nothing about the skill of the team; we made mistakes that would make a 3rd grader role his eyes in disgust. But the other team made more, so we ended up winning.

On a side note, I played pathetically. I dropped two passes outright, for no reason other than my lack of skill. So I apologize to anyone who was unfortunate enough to witness that odious performance on my part.

My commentary on the game, if anybody cares, is that we need to work on throwing under pressure, judging the disc, and (most of all) RUNNING. It is very difficult to find someone to throw to when everybody is standing. We got lucky in that the other team was mostly slow, because any quick team will rape us into the dark ages. Honestly, even though we had a ridiculous number of subs, most people were still winded by the end of the game. My suggestion: play DDR. DDR is by far the best cardiovascular exercise there is, in addition to massively strengthening your calf muscles. So play more DDR. You won't be sorry.

Anyway, I'm glad that we won, although I know that win's won't come as easily as this one in the future.

4-13-03 12:46 PM

Wow it's nice out. I mean, I had already forgotten that the outdoors could actually feel good. I mean, for the first time in hell knows how long, when I take my walks outside, there are actually other people there. I'm not sure how I feel about this invasion of my historical walking grounds, but I'm willing to make that compromise in exchange for this type of weather.

My dad just washed my Durango (I'm a lazy bum), and it's all shiny ... that way people can marvel at the overwhelming reflectivity of the monster that is crushing and mangling their puny little econoboxes. Mwahahahaha. Sorry.

Yeah, so as you can tell, I don't really have anything to say right now. The only reason I'm making a post is to prove that the reason that I haven't been making posts isn't because of my notorious laziness. So anyway, I have an ultimate game to go to. Bye.

4-9-03 9:20 PM

I just got back from the Jazz Ensemble's concert; it was pretty good (except for one notable instance, which I won't go into.) Anyway, good job Sharon and Jon.

I was so mad at the animal rights bastards yesterday that I forgot to mention my latest purchase: I bought the collected works of Oscar Wilde at freehold mall. It cost me $9. Pretty good for 1200 pages of stuff. Anyway, there is a reason for my shopping spree of collected works. I have been in a good mood recently, and so have decided to expand my horizons and read more. After all, it's not like I'm doing any school-work now, and I don't really want my brain to atrophy from disuse.

Hmm .. what else? Did I mention that life is good? Well, I'll say it again. If I was allowed to rant about how depressed I was, I am allowed to rant about the opposite, am I not?

Happy! Look at my header frame: HAPPY!

4-8-03 8:19 PM

This is a message to all of you so called animal rights protestors who might stumble upon my website because of my last name's association with a certain incident which I am not at liberty to discuss:

You people are lying cowards. I can't go into details, but you know that your insinuation that the success of your attack lay in a flaw inherent in the system is a lie ... the attack was obviously a work of social engineering or an inside job. So what gives you the right to drag my family name through the mud? Regardless of what you believe about the validity of animal testing, you have no justification for this act of libel.

If you are one of the criminals responsible for the aforementioned affair, you may stop reading at this point, since your opinions on the issue of animal testing are obviously set in stone. I wish you only justice, and hope that you spend some time in jail thinking about such concepts as the law. The rest of this update is primarily for my regular readers, although animal rights activist may read it if they please.

Ok ... for those of you who are completely confused, the issue being discussed here is my family's association with Huntingdon Life Sciences (HLS). Both my father and I have worked (directly and indirectly) with this animal testing company. I have absolutely no shame in doing so, for reasons which I will try to explain.

First of all, let me begin by saying that I love animals. I have a beautiful dog whom I would never hurt. Whenever I hear news about cases of animal cruelty, my heart breaks; the very thought of hurting animals is horrific to me. I donate my spare change to animal shelters, not homeless shelters. As any reader of this website knows, I basically love animals (especially dogs) more than I love people.

At this point (if you are an animal rights activist) you are undoubtedly calling me a hypocrite. How can I possibly say that I don't want animals to be hurt if I work at an animal testing company. Well, let me tell you that, before and during my employment at HLS, I thought intensely about the moral ramifications of their actions. The conclusion I came to is that although I wish with all my heart that companies like HLS did not have to exist, they are completely and utterly necessary and invaluable.

Although in many cases, the research done at HLS does cause pain to animals, it improves or saves the lives of exponentially more people. And although I do have an irrational desire to protect all animals from harm (just like you do), I have come to terms with the only rational conclusion: that, as callous as the logic may seem, human lives are more valuable than the lives of animals. Therefore, HLS's existence, and my employment there, is completely morally justifiable and correct.

Animal rights activists, on the other hand, do not want to face the logical, albeit painful truth. They allow themselves to be dominated my emotion, as opposed to using logic. Just look at their campaign strategies: the heart wrenching images of cute puppies in cages, the horrifying pictures of rats with various tubes protruding from their bodies ... any person who has a soul is troubled by these images, as am I. But, as horrible as the pictures are, they do not outweigh the necessity of animal research for the benefit of human life. However, the activist obviously do not address the necessity of the science, they are more than content with just showing the emotionally disturbing pictures, in a shameless attempt to exploit the irrationality of the masses.

But that alone would not get me very irritated; after all, people are allowed to express their opinions through propaganda, even if I do not agree with these opinions. However, the activists have obviously crossed the line of decency in respect to the expression of their ideas. Throughout the world, these so called activists (who would more appropriately be called criminals) attack the material and human resources of HLS; They commit what amounts to hate crimes against HLS's investors and partners; and most recently, they started committing electronic attacks against the company which they so hate.

If you are so against animal testing, why don't you volunteer yourselves to be the test subjects for various medical procedures. What? You don't want to. Why don't you stop taking all medicines that were ever tested on animals (all of them)? What, you don't want to do that either? You want to reap the rewards of the establishment that you are trying so hard to uproot? Well, that doesn't seem very logical does it? But since when did activist care about logic?

Anyway, although I sometimes work for HLS, I hope that one day, it and all companies like it are forced out of business by a technology that will eliminate animal testing. I hope that we will never have to hurt another animal in the name of science. But until that technology becomes available, I will proudly work for any company that advances the state of humanity as much as HLS does.

4-7-03 5:47 PM

What the hell? No, honestly: What the hell? A snowstorm in the middle of April? This is ridiculous.

Not only that, but the damn early closing actually pissed me off. The classes that got shortened were Lunch, Bio, Gym, and Film Appreciation. And my airbrush class was cancelled. With the exception of Bio, I like all of those classes. And I don't even mind Bio anymore. So what the hell was the point? To avoid getting rear ended by the morons who don't know how to drive, I ended up sitting around for a good half-hour until everyone else had left ... so, basically, all that happened is I got out of school 1.5 hours early, at the expense of the classes that I wanted to go to. Great.

The snow did, however, provide me with an opportunity to practice my winter driving skills. As Jedwin and Gene can tell you, this was a lot of fun. The fun began when I decided to floor it in the HS parking lot, just to see what would happen. What happened is that all four wheels lost tractions (my Durango has 4WD), and the car proceeded to slide sideways like a lunatic. Well, having accomplished this wonderful bit of car control, I drove to the diner, and then to the mall. At the mall, there was a relatively mild right hand turn, which I decided to attempt to do rally-style, since the road was empty. I went into the turn at a good 30 MPH, then used the breaks to shift the weight of my truck to the front tires, thereby adding to the traction, and causing the car to rotate faster. Of course, having no real experience in winter driving, I overdid the breaks: the Durango continued to rotate until I was in an uncontrolled spin, and ended up facing the exact opposite direction. I had done a 180. In a 2.5 Ton truck.

Well, we got to the mall alive (somehow). First, I looked for sunglasses to replace that I destroyed in a fit of rage yesterday; I found a pair of polarized Rayban's that looked really nice on me, but they cost $140. Holy shit. I mean, I want to look nice just like everyone else, but I don't know if I can justify spending the equivalent of 10 hours of work on a pair of glasses. I'll think about it.

Wanting to enjoy myself in a more frugal manner, I went to B&N and bought two books: Sun-Tzu's The Art of War, and The Poetry of Robert Frost. Both were ridiculously discounted, costing my $9 and $5, respectively. I've always wanted to read The Art of War, but the book was always too expensive for me to justify buying. As for the second book, well, $5 for an anthology of ALL of Frost's books of poetry is just too good of a deal to pass up. Anyway, it's about time for me to actually read some poetry, as opposed to just writing my own shitty little verses.

Well, I got home, schooled Jedwin and Gene at Monopoly, and then I wrote this update. The End.

4-6-03 10:15 PM

Well, instead of reading my book or going to sleep, I took a long walk. While on this walk, I was pondering my recent drought of poetic expression. The root of this, I decided, is that I only write about things that I am personally familiar with (depression, rage, rejection, etc.) I decided, therefore, to write about a subject with which I am less familiar. Therefore, I chose to write about something that I know close to nothing about, and am not even sure exists; this topic, which is completely over my head and not coincidentally is the title of my poem, is Idyllic Love.

On a side note, I committed the poetic transgression of emphasizing particular words with italics; I did so only as a last resort, because I want the readers to understand exactly what it is I am trying to say. I apologize for allowing my fear of being misinterpreted to undermine my integrity.

4-6-03 7:53 PM

I am an idiot in desperate need of anger management. Ok ... you all already knew that. But I have a new example for you of my cretinism. Today at ultimate practice, we had a scrimmage. After my millionth fuckup of the day, I got so mad that I threw my sunglasses down on the ground. Unsurprisingly, they irreparably broke. I am so fucking stupid. And I loved those sunglasses: You know, the women's fake tortoise shell DKNY glasses that I have had for the last year or so. Now they are two monocles. Damn things snapped right down the middle. Oh well.

Perhaps the demise of my transvestite glasses is blessing in disguise, being that I now have partial justification for shoveling ridiculous amounts of money into the pockets of some superficiality-dealer, in exchange for a new pair of shades.

All the work that I alluded to in my previous post is actually nonexistent. I don't have an English essay, and I'm not doing my Stat homework. Therefore, all I have to do is read part of a book which I would want to read anyway. Once again, life kicks ass.

Now this is the part of the post when you are supposed to start questioning whether or not the Henry you know is actually writing it: I am looking forward to going to school tomorrow. WHAT?!?!?!?!? Did I just say that?

Yes, yes I did. I actually enjoy my schooldays as much as I enjoy my weekends at this point. When analyzed, this actually makes perfect sense. Once the shadow of homework is removed from the picture, my schooldays are actually great; I get to hang out with my friends all day. That's it. Now I can understand why many people who aren't in 57,000 AP classes actually like school; without homework, school is basically just a social gathering.

I wish that I had realized this earlier, instead of suffering incessantly for the past 12 years, but whatever, I still have about 7 years of college left to enjoy. And unless I ruin the experience for myself by trying to do too well,  I am going to fucking love college.

Ok, I'm off to sleep or read or something ... it doesn't matter, since whatever I don't do can be done in the morning. Later.

4-6-03 12:01 AM

Well, I got my long-awaited haircut, and I look better than ever. I am glad that I can provide an example to which other people can aspire. Oh man, I love narcissism. (For those of you who are confused as to whether or not I'm really a narcissist .... no, you stupid bastards, I'm just kidding around ... sheesh)

In other news: It is now official. I'm going to NYU. My parents and I sat down and looked at my options, and realized that a Columbia undergrad education would end up costing over $60,000 more than an NYU undergrad education. $20k of this would have to come from me, and I am not prepared to take out that kind of loan. Therefore, it is decided: NYU it is. Saying "no" to an Ivy League school feels really weird, but hey, I'm not made out of money.

In case anyone is interested in the mundane details of my life: this was a strange Saturday. Basically, I played DDR the entire time. Ostensibly, I was supposed to be working on filming the movie that my group and I are supposed to be making for Film Appreciation; however, besides a couple of minutes of horrid footage, all that my group managed to do was play DDR.

Since the movie is supposed to contain a "DDR Battle," we decided to meet at Sports 'n Stuff. Of course, since we were already there, we just had to play DDR. We took a break to film some "normal" fight scenes at Jedwin's house, and then returned to Sports 'n Stuff to pick up the cars that we had left in their parking lot; obviously, we just had to play more DDR. Having completely exhausted ourselves playing two rounds of DDR, we decided to get some food at McDonalds, and ... you guessed it: go to Matt's house and PLAY DDR.

Oh, and one more thing. During our second round of playing DDR at Sports 'n Stuff, I played MAX 300, and managed to get a marvelous 347 combo from the beginning of the song; too bad I died right after I lost my combo. I just hit a wall of endurance, and could no longer move my feet. However, as any person who plays DDR will tell you, a 347 combo in MAX 300 is fucking impressive. Whatever ... if I wasn't so fucking fat and slow I'd have finished the damn song, but noooooo, I had to run out of energy. Damnit.

Having talked about Saturday, let's talk about today (Sunday). In the glorious tradition of procrastination that I have dutifully upheld throughout my High School education, I left a metric fuckload of work for myself. When I wake up, I do so to the wonderful bliss of knowing that I have to make up ALL of the work for the quarter in Stat, in addition to reading a third of a book for English, and probably writing an essay about it (I don't even know if there is an essay, I didn't check yet.) And since I don't want to be dropped from my airbrush class in addition to my Humanities class, I can't just stay home from school on Monday like I usually would have. So that sucks. But whatever, the particular potential suckiness of today is outweighed by the overbearing kickassitude of my current situation. (I love copying Jedwin's style of making up words) So fuck it ... I'll deal.

Anyway, this has been an unjustifiably long post, considering that nothing noteworthy actually happened, so goodnight.

4-5-03 12:17 AM

Obviously, this has been a strange week, at least for seniors.

Honestly, other than college related events, I don't remember anything else occurring. The whole thing is like looking back on a dream: I know what happened, but I don't really remember it happening. Interestingly, Wednesday was the busiest day ever for my burgeoning website, with 96 hits. Anyway, I just hope that everyone return back to normal over the weekend.

Contrary to popular belief, I do have a life (as worthless and meager as it may be) outside of my quasi-philosophical musings. For example, I just got back from watching Head of State with the biggest posse I had ever assembled to go see a movie (Me, Gene, Matt D, Matt W, Sharon, Emily G, Emily B). That was kind of fun, if it weren't for Sharon's incessant criticism of my driving. Anyway, the movie itself was funny, although I seem to be the only person who thought so. Everyone else was like, "I want my $8.75 back ... that sucked." Whatever.

I am looking forward to waking up tomorrow, because *drum roll...............* I am getting a haircut. THANK GOD, THE LORD ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN. No longer will my unkempt locks distract from the supernatural beauty of my visage. Or something like that.

Moving on to something completely unrelated, I love Instant Messenger. Although I'm not much of a socialite, I enjoy the opportunity it gives me to talk with people I might otherwise not get a chance to talk with. My god, that was a verbose sentence. Anyway ... AIM rocks.

Speaking of things that rock ... I'm actually loving my life right now. I go to school mainly to chill with my friends, I don't do homework ... I love life. And starting on Tuesday, I'm going to love it even more. Reason? That is the day that I can stop going to Humanities, meaning that I basically don't have to come into school until second period unless I decide otherwise. It's going to kick ass.

And it gets better. Today my dad called NYU to ask them if my getting dropped from that class would affect my admission / financial aid. The lady on the other end of line actually laughed at him, and said something on the order of "Don't worry ... your son is ACCEPTED." So, dropping Humanities has no ramifications whatsoever. In fact, it might increase my GPA, since Humanities is non-honors. So basically:

Me: 1; The System: 0. I rule.

4-2-03 8:35 PM

First of all, congratulations to anyone who made it in anywhere.

Also, I feel really sorry for some people (I'm sure everyone knows who I'm talking about) who didn't get into places that they really deserved to get into. There is obvious proof in some cases that college decision are, at best, random, and at worse, biased and unfair.

As for me: I got really lucky with college admissions. My status is as follows:

MIT: Rejected. (Currently Irrelevant)

Rutgers: Accepted with scholarship, but still have to pay for room and board. (Currently Irrelevant)

NYU: Accepted with 25k/year scholarship, meaning I have to pay 15k/year.

Columbia (FU): Accepted with 10k/year grant, ~3.5k/year subsidized loans, ~2.5k/year work-study. I'm going to ask them to give me some more grant money, because I can't afford the package that they gave me, and doubt that I can handle the added workload of work-study.

Therefore, I am definitely going to college in NYC, but I am no longer 100% sure of which school. I'd say that there's a 90% chance of NYU, about 10% Columbia.

Basically, I've very happy with my situation, but that happiness is tempered by a feeling of guilt. I feel terrible about how the college admissions system basically screwed over some people who are smarter and have worked harder than me.

Today was a day that greatly affected many people's immediate plans, but I doubt that it truly affected anyone's future. Regardless of which school people go to, their success will be determined primarily on their innate ability and their capacity for work. Therefore, I, for one, am glad to get today behind me, and restart actively living my life instead of waiting for it to be determined for me by the thickness of an envelope.