Dear Jedwin,

You'd better say goodbye to your little boyfriends ... you haven't very long to live.

You see, for no apparent reason, I was reading some of your old posts. Unfortunately for your sorry little ass, I came across your post from 10.23.01. It was actually the most amusingly incisive thing that I have read in a long time; however, since it was incisive towards me, I'm going to kill you.

Actually, I'm impressed that you managed to get enough testosterone pumping from your shriveled little balls to write something like that. In fact, I didn't think that you had balls at all; I always thought you were a cock-loving little pussy. Much to my surprise, it seems that your shitty little clit has magically grown into an ignoble, inch-long penis, and, accordingly, your little prepubescent tits have grown into tiny, impotent pseudo-balls, and descended into your bald, emaciated sac. What's next, pubic hair. Let's not get carried away, Jedwin ... I'll probably kill you before that has a chance to develop on your masturbation-soaked mons pubis.

But I am a reasonable person; I'll give you a chance to repent. But mark my words: If something so profane ever again oozes out of that crusty little bukkake-hole in your effeminate face, I'll have you ass-raped like the little geisha that you are.

Henry Kozachkov

P.S. Just kidding ... the person I'm really going to kill is your boyfriend, Jon.